S is for Snake, Spine, Scoliosis, Surgery… Surprise!

You might have already figured out where we’re going with this. Or maybe you already know, if you’re one of the people I’m acquainted with in the Reality Zone. But yes, in short, Locked Girl is getting surgery.

This whole thing started in early July, I believe… Or maybe late June. Anyway, there’s been this weird thing going with my left side for as long as I can remember(although apparently not that long, but then again I don’t exactly pay that much attention to my left side) and when a doctor finally took a look, he said to go and get myself X-rayed and such because it might be scoliosis.

Well. As it turned out, it was.

For those of you going ‘is it really that serious?’ Why yes, yes it is. That top curve is somewhere in the early 40s(in terms of degrees), and I believe that lower curve is about 46, if I’m remembering correctly. That’s what we were told by the doctor we visited later, anyway. (Lovely woman. Very pleased by the outcome of the visit, even if it did require leaving the state.) She also said that there’s a decently high chance that it will progress further if left alone…

So, well, we could put me in a brace to try and slow the progression, which would still give me a 75% chance of needing corrective surgery down the road, or we could just take care of the surgery now.

Naturally, I went right for the quicker option. I mean, I’ve had surgery before(on my legs, admittedly, so less of a big deal) and a cousin has had the same surgery at the same hospital. (She has no regrets; it’s only caused one problem, which is to say preventing her from getting an epidural when she had kids… I have doubts as to whether that’ll ever be an issue for me.) So yes, sometime in November I’ll be going in and getting metal rods put in my back, so that’ll be interesting. I’ll have to stay in the hospital for a few days, but fear not, there is wi-fi there so I’ll be able to pop up and say ‘Hey, not dead’. (Unless I am, but that’s unlikely to happen.)

I almost want to try writing something on painkillers… I hear the more potent ones can mess with your head. Might be entertaining to read the result of that endeavor. Or terrifying. With me, you never really know what’s going to happen.

Anyway, that’s a thing that happened. It’ll definitely be interesting, if nothing else. And probably somewhat painful.

(YOLO?)

 

What Even Is This?

This is going to be a short one. It’s just been bugging me for a bit and I want to complain about it because it makes no sense.

To me, at least. For all I know, it’s perfectly sensible to everyone else. Not to me!

What am I talking about, you ask?

‘Waiting for my Romeo’. That’s what I’m talking about. People say that, apparently, and I don’t understand it, like, at all, whatsoever.

So you’re waiting for the guy that your family is going to hate, oh, and his family is going to hate you, too, huh? Or are you waiting for the guy that you’re going to find dead on the floor and commit suicide over? Or both?!

This is my brain on Romeo and Juliet.

I mean. Okay. The play is a super popular love story and such. That’s another thing I don’t understand. Why is it so popular?! The whole ‘tragedy’ part could have been avoided if Romeo and Juliet had just communicated with each other, if they’d actually said meaningful words like ‘Hey Romeo, my parents are marrying me off to someone I don’t love so I’m going to pretend to die in order to get out of it, please don’t think I’m actually dead and kill yourself’ instead of spending what little time they had together spouting nonsense. I don’t know much about love. I’ll admit that. But I’m pretty sure that it has to involve actual communication and not just pretty words. There’s a time and a place for that(and that is away from my view, thanks). There’s also a time and place for not being stupid.

So basically the entire reason it happened was because two teenagers confused infatuation for love and were idiots about it…

Oh. It makes sense now.

One Aspie’s “10 commandments”

I swear I’ll stop soon.

Maybe.

But this blog is so good and you all need to read it so maybe I’ll just keep pestering you. *pokes*

the silent wave

Alrighty, it looks like I’m in list-making mode; first it was “20 things to say“, then “20 things not to say“, and now this: 10 things not to do to Aspies/autistic people.  I promise not to turn this blog into a simple collection of lists, although many Aspies do enjoy making lists.

I realize that these recent posts may make me sound like a bossy bitch (please pardon the French).  I promise that that’s not the way I intend these posts to be.  The first two posts (on 20 things to say/not to say) are more of a plea for understanding and at times, for help.  This post comes from a similar root desire to explain Asperger’s/autism to the allistic world on which we can connect, relate, find common ground, and reach healthy understanding.  I’ve simply added the “commandment” aspect as an attempt to inject an…

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20 things TO say to Aspies/autistics (or people with Asperger’s/autism): My edition

If you haven’t figured it out already, you should go check out this blog! It’s glorious!

Also, please note the word ‘occasional’ in my case. Occasional warmth and fuzziness can be good. (Unless we’re talking about a warm and fuzzy cat, in which case all bets are off and give me the cat right now.) Some of you go a little crazy. (You probably know who you are.) I love you anyway. *pats head*

the silent wave

This post got long, too 🙂

Aspies/autistic people are all-too-well-aware of how awkward it can feel to interact with other people, especially allistics (non-autistic people).  Sometimes, though we (Aspies) might forget–or underestimate–that for allistics, interacting with an Aspie/autistic people can be challenging, too.  Allistics might feel awkward, not knowing what to say to–or “deal with” an Aspie.  They may have the vague idea that we can be touchy.  Either way, they come to realize that we’re…different.

When someone searches Google for “what to say to someone with Aspergers/autism”, the results are usually dominated by lots of posts about what not to say, but there is significantly less information available about what to say.  This could (and likely often does) lead to further awkwardness or uneasiness between the neuro-types.  One situation that (at least most of) we (Aspies) don’t want is to further alienate ourselves from others and vice versa.

So, in Part 2 of…

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20 things not to say to Aspies/autistics (or people with Asperger’s/autism): My edition

This is… well, this is perfect, guys. I’m not even kidding. I don’t even know what else to say about this.

the silent wave

Heads up: This post got a bit long. 🙂

Because I haven’t known about my Asperger’s neuro-type for very long, I haven’t encountered a lot of the pet-peeve phrases that Apies have endured for years.  This also means I’m not an expert on this topic at all.  But that also might mean I might bring a different perspective.

Nonetheless, I’ve come across many Aspie-etiquette posts about what to say and what not to say, and I have to admit, I agree with a lot of the advice.  I also have a few list-items of my own to add.  These are just my opinions, and they may not hold true for all Aspies.

This is the first of two posts.  For now, I’ll start out with 20 things not to say:

1. “Try Harder”
Lord knows are are trying.  We try every day.  We try to decide what to wear every day.  We…

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D&Designer Babies

My brother is bad at distributing stats.

Now, if you asked him, he wouldn’t say that. In fact, I think he would disagree emphatically. (In fact, when he reads this, I’m probably going to be in deep trouble.)

But he really is, you know. (I’m sorry, brother dear, but you do not apply all your stat-boosting items to one character in a four-character party! You just don’t! Unless you want to find yourself at the end of the game, with three characters who are essentially useless, completely helpless against the final boss… oh wait, you did. And this is why I’ve beaten it twice and you haven’t.) It’s a complete mystery, dear readers, how he manages to so thoroughly beat me at Risk and other strategy games when he so thoroughly dies due to poor strategy. (Yes, the character was cool; no, that does not excuse terrible strategy.) And the point of all this is to say that my brother’s terrible stat-distributing skills got me thinking about ‘designer babies’.

Which is a weird concept in and of itself. Not one that makes me particularly comfortable. I mean… The idea of genetically altering human embryos in order to create desired traits sounds like something straight out of science fiction, and I love sci-fi and all that, but…

Well. I’ll be perfectly blunt. According to most of the world, I’m probably not the be-all end-all of desired traits. (I can’t see why. I mean. I’m awesome, right, guys? …right?) For one thing, I’m a wimp. (My wimpiness level is over 9000…)

I love you too, Marisa.

To say nothing of the fact that I lost track of all the mental issues I’m dealing with. (This does not count Aspergers. It is not an issue.) I mean, I stopped counting them a very long time ago… There’s at least five, varying ranges of severity…

But it’s the truth, Marisa.

And how many medications do I take? I believe, at last count, the number was four different types, four and a half pills specifically…

It’s getting old, Marisa.

And for icing on the cake, despite being a redhead and being supposed to be able to create my own vitamin D, to make up for the fact that I can’t absorb it as well as non-redheads… well, I don’t. So I have to take that, too.

It’s gotten old, Marisa.

And, well, judging from the fact that parents of autistic children have forced them to drink bleach, and the whole vaccine issue mentioned previously, much of the world doesn’t agree with me on the whole ‘Aspergers not being an issue’ premise.

Die in a fire, Marisa.

*cough cough, waves away smoke* Where were we? Oh yes. I wasn’t getting rid of an annoying girl who keeps repeating the same thing over and over again… Definitely not. I would never do that. I mean, that’s killing! And killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Anyway, the idea of designer babies kind of freaks me out, mainly because if it were widely accepted, chances are that people like me would end up… well, not being born. Ever.

And that’s kind of upsetting.

But then my brother’s terrible stat-distribution skills reminded me of an extremely popular game that I have, in fact, never actually played. Those of you who paid attention to the title may know what I am referring to. That’s right, we’re talking about Dungeons & Dragons.

Specifically, their attribute system. For those of you who, like myself, have not actually played said game, a brief overview is required. I may get things wrong. Please do not yell at me over the internet. In short, each character in D&D(and many other RPG systems) has ‘attributes’, or skills, really. The six main attributes are Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Charisma, and Wisdom. The points you can put into each attribute differ depending on the edition. But the more points you have allocated to a certain attribute, the better your character is in that area. Of course, to avoid overpowered characters, I’m pretty sure there are limits to how many points you have overall. (Anything else would just be game-breaking.)

This is the way I tend to imagine designer babies… yeah, it’s weird, I know. But still, parents picking out the attributes they want their children to have the most points in, does actually sound kind of appropriate. Of course, then we might have to start assigning people to classes. And as hilarious as it would be to have everyone be warriors, paladins, thieves, clerics and the like, I’m not entirely sure how well that system would actually work in real life.

Except for the people who are good at D&D. I think they’d take over the world. And taking over the world is my job…

…I thought I got rid of you…

*ahem* If you’ll excuse me, then, I… have to go take care of someone… I mean, something… *wanders off, muttering about witch hunts*

Obligatory Post About Zebras(And Other Things)

I promised I would post about zebras, didn’t I? (Yes. Yes, I did.) Well. Here it is, folks, the post you never asked for and possibly never wanted–the obligatory post about zebras(and other things)! (And there’s the obligatory title drop.)

Allow me to show you various zebras. After a while, you may start to feel like you’re looking at a Rorschach test. Or maybe you won’t. I did, but as I’m sure we’ve all figured out, I’m weird.

This is a plains zebra.

This is a Cape mountain zebra.

This is a Hartmann’s mountain zebra.

This is a Grevy’s zebra.

This is a baby zebra.

This is a Dead Zebra. (Inc.)

This is a danger zebra.

Also, zebras are apparently black with white stripes. How interesting.

Now that that’s out of the way, I do have a couple other things that just came to mind.

1:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, try getting a restraining order.

2:

What is with urban legends? No, seriously. I’m the creepiest person I know, full stop, and I still don’t understand who the heck comes up with these things. Who thought of a faceless guy in a suit and decided ‘Hey, I’m going to put this on the internet’? Who decided Mickey Mouse needed to be terrifying? (Well, he’s kind of off-putting as it is, but that might just be me.) And let’s not even get started on some of the ones they have in Japan…

What, did you think I was actually going to talk about those? Heck no.

But, you know, when your funny little story about a faceless guy in a suit gets someone stabbed, you might want to rethink your life choices. Just a little bit.

3:

What is with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? No, really. What’s up with that?

4:

Why can’t there actually be a holiday for airing grievances?

5:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

In short, the universe is full of questions, some more bizarre than others. But today you have learned something about zebras, and you now know that they are black with white stripes. Isn’t knowledge wonderful?

An Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in 5 Easy Steps

You know that moment when everything’s going fine, and then suddenly someone says something emotional or starts crying or something along those lines and you’re just left there thinking something along these lines?

Or, in layman’s terms…

You know how it goes. All you can do is sit there and stare because you were not prepared for this, dang it. Well, no longer! Today, I give you the Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in 5 Easy Steps–a simple plan to help you handle any emotional situation!

1. Give your friend a hug. This technique is not for the faint of heart. It may require years of intense training, and many people have gone their entire lives without mastering the fine art of hug-jitsu. Nevertheless, it is reliable.
2. If hug-jitsu is not an option, try an awkward pat on the head. This is simple and is almost guaranteed to make your friend start laughing, because awkward headpats are amusing almost by definition.
3. If you simply cannot bring yourself to touch your friend, say something clever and witty. (Do not actually say “Something clever and witty.” This is neither clever nor witty.) This may result in your friend hating you for your insensitivity, or it may result in your friend being cheered up. Use with caution.
4. If you can’t think of anything to say, you may remain where you are, looking around awkwardly, and wait for someone else to resolve the situation. This is what we call ‘the default state’. For obvious reasons.
5. If you and your friend are the only ones around, and no one else can resolve the situation, thus making the default state an obsolete technique… then there is only one thing left to do.

This concludes the Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in Five Easy Steps. We here at the Locked Room take no responsibility for any actions or results or adverse situations created or alleged to be created as or in connection with a direct or indirect result of specific referral or advice given by us.

Addressing Concerns

So, the other day I had to get my blood drawn. This was… unfortunate, to say the least, because I happen to have a pathological fear of needles. I hate them. Hate hate hate hate hate. Heck, just thinking about them makes me get all weird and freaked out inside and when it comes to having needles put in me, well, there’s only one appropriate response to that.

PANIC AND FEAR.

Soooooooooooo… yeah. Things were going about as well as they usually do in my head, and then the lady doing the actual torture um, I mean, the lady who was going to torture me no, stop it, the lady who was going to torture me within an inch of my sanity NO. *ahem* Nothing to see here.

Anyway, the lady who was going to be taking care of the whole process started trying to make me feel better by telling me that it wasn’t going to hurt for long(did not help, but hey, at least she tried), not like, say, a vaccine…

Well. Whenever someone mentions vaccines these days, my immediate reaction tends to be along the lines of ‘Oh, yes, vaccines…’ while I’m inwardly shuddering and trying to resist the urge to rant. Ranting is a real problem with me. Heh.

While my current source of other views has explained to me several times that it’s not nearly as simple as it often feels, that the whole ‘Vaccines cause autism’ thing isn’t the only viewpoint behind not vaccinating, it often feels that way… probably because that’s where it hits me the hardest. I’m not going to address any of the other points, mainly because I don’t feel qualified to address them. I’m not a parent. I don’t have that sort of angle on the rest of the vaccine issue… but I am a high-functioning autistic, so I do have an angle on that part, and I will address that point.

So, here goes nothing.

Before I really get going, I want to say one thing. Autism and Aspergers Syndrome(which I will certainly be explaining more about in a later post) are not things to self-diagnose. For the sake of this ‘debate'(Is this a debate? What is this? I don’t know), I will be assuming that everyone said to be autistic was diagnosed by a trained professional, although in reality there are many self-diagnosed people out there. (I’m not saying that all self-diagnosed people are not autistic… but I am saying that, statistically, it is pretty much impossible for all self-diagnosed people to be autistic. Some are, some aren’t. See a trained professional if you want to be sure(or as sure as you can be, anyway). Simple as that.) There, that’s out of the way. Moving on.

As far as I’m aware, the whole ‘vaccines cause autism’ thing was started by Andrew Wakefield, a man who supposedly found a link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The fact that he was found guilty of ethics violations and looking to develop a measles vaccine that he could sell, well, that’s apparently not so widespread of knowledge, from what I can tell. The rest of the issue is mainly people confusing correlation with causation, broadening diagnostic criteria and increased awareness, and one thoroughly discredited study. I mean, it’s been retracted and then buried in an avalanche of other studies that counteract it, but somehow people still listen. I don’t really understand that.

Another point is that the children lucky enough to receive regular vaccinations are also the ones lucky enough to have access to qualified psychologists who can diagnose them with autism. There’s also the fact that there are many, many people who have been vaccinated and don’t have autism, and the odds are high that there are unvaccinated people with autism.

As for evidence, while doing research into this, I’ve found my own opinion backed by such institutions as Oxford, the Center for Disease Control, the American Medical Association, and people who specialize in autism, such as my own psychologist Karen McKibbin, and Tony Attwood as well. Meanwhile, all of the evidence I can find for the other side of the debate is on blogs and sites with names like ‘vactruth’. (If you can find more credible evidence, please, let me know–this is feeling awfully one-sided, and I hate one-sided arguments.) Sadly, many people choose to believe such sites over scientific findings. In the end, people are facing the consequences that come with choosing not to vaccinate, which leads me to one of the saddest things of all…

Even if vaccines did cause autism, by choosing to avoid vaccinating your child out of fear of them becoming autistic… aren’t you essentially choosing to risk your child dying of a preventable disease rather than live with autism?

I don’t want to think that people actually think like this. I don’t want to think that their minds go there. I want to think that people who choose not to vaccinate don’t even have such a thought cross their minds, because the other possibility is just too painful. I know that people who are thinking about autism and vaccines probably aren’t thinking of Aspergers Syndrome, they’re thinking of low-functioning autistics who can barely speak or move properly. But even if vaccines did cause autism, isn’t it better to have an autistic child than a dead child? It’s a worst-case scenario, I’ll admit it. But why take the risk?

Please, please, please vaccinate your children. As a high-functioning autistic, I am literally begging you. Unless there is some other reason that you simply can’t, such as an immune disorder or something along those lines, don’t listen to the people who tell you that vaccines cause autism. There is absolutely no genuine proof that they do so. If you still have doubts, do research on your own. Look at things from an unbiased perspective, and make sure that your sources are credible rather than taking people’s words at face value. Heck, don’t take my words at face value. I’m not asking you to believe what I’m saying unconditionally. What I am asking you to do is to think long and hard about this issue, because believe me, it’s more important than you might think.

Thank you for reading this.

An Introduction

Calling upon my limited social knowledge tells me that when meeting someone for the first time, one must, of course, introduce oneself. This is one of the biggest social rules out there, and one of the ones that actually makes sense to me(why do we shake hands? No, seriously, why? I don’t get it) so I shall follow it.

Again, my ‘name’ is Locked Girl, I am an Aspie, and this is my blog. Truth be told, I’ve wanted a blog for a good while, but didn’t get around to actually getting myself one until now… ah, other stuff, right. Um. Again, limited social knowledge means I have pretty much no idea what to put here, so I’ll just… get to all the really deep stuff, okay? Green. Green is good, I like green. I love books, and the ones I really like… I pretty much treat them like glass. Ones in that category that immediately come to mind are Worlds of Ink and Shadow by Lena Coakley, A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro(although that one met with an unfortunate accident and now has a crease in its formerly-perfect cover, I like it better this way), and pretty much anything Sherlock Holmes. But those are just a few, I have way more that I love. You should see the look on my face when someone asks me what my favorite book is. (I’ve never seen it myself, for obvious reasons, but I’ve been told it’s pretty great.)  I hate telephone conversations, I love geeking out over things, I can’t smile for the camera to save my life, and I neither understand nor wish to understand the concept of romance. BBC’s Sherlock is the only thing that’s ever made me scream like a crazed fangirl, and that’s because it’s so beautifully Aspie-ish. Even the producer agrees, so I feel validated in this belief.

I have a strange obsession with the number 17, and the name Charlotte. I’m trying to find a Charlotte who hasn’t had something bad happen to her, but so far, no luck. (I mean, the spider died alone(and she got off the easiest!), Charlotte Bronte outlived her entire family and still died young, and the list just goes on.)

In case it wasn’t immediately obvious, I could get a doctorate in rambling if it were a viable major… Too bad. If anyone would support rambling as a career, I’d be a billionaire in no time.

But that’s enough rambling for now… I have something better to talk about. Something coherent...

A book!

A new one, to be precise. Just got it in today… had to pay ten bucks, but it was worth it. It was all worth it.

And here we are, folks, The Last of August by Brittany Cavallaro! I must say, I have high hopes for this book. It’s the sequel to the aforementioned A Study in Charlotte, which I thought was quite excellent. (Ask your parents, kids. This one’s a murder mystery.) Pros included the name Charlotte(as mentioned before, bit of an obsession, and she doesn’t get off easily either!), Sherlock Holmes, of course, a plot I found thoroughly enjoyable, generally well-written, humorous without being corny or overdone, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Cons:more romance than I’d have liked, some mature content(not gratuitous though, points to the author for that), language, and a lack of creativity with the naming scheme. Don’t mind that much though; still a highly entertaining read. So yeah, I’m going into TLoA with great expectations, here’s hoping it doesn’t let me down.

 

See you in my next rambling, Locked Girl is going to go read a book now.