Great Library of Knowledge and History(And Rambling)

What Even Is This?

This is going to be a short one. It’s just been bugging me for a bit and I want to complain about it because it makes no sense.

To me, at least. For all I know, it’s perfectly sensible to everyone else. Not to me!

What am I talking about, you ask?

‘Waiting for my Romeo’. That’s what I’m talking about. People say that, apparently, and I don’t understand it, like, at all, whatsoever.

So you’re waiting for the guy that your family is going to hate, oh, and his family is going to hate you, too, huh? Or are you waiting for the guy that you’re going to find dead on the floor and commit suicide over? Or both?!

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This is my brain on Romeo and Juliet.

I mean. Okay. The play is a super popular love story and such. That’s another thing I don’t understand. Why is it so popular?! The whole ‘tragedy’ part could have been avoided if Romeo and Juliet had just communicated with each other, if they’d actually said meaningful words like ‘Hey Romeo, my parents are marrying me off to someone I don’t love so I’m going to pretend to die in order to get out of it, please don’t think I’m actually dead and kill yourself’ instead of spending what little time they had together spouting nonsense. I don’t know much about love. I’ll admit that. But I’m pretty sure that it has to involve actual communication and not just pretty words. There’s a time and a place for that(and that is away from my view, thanks). There’s also a time and place for not being stupid.

So basically the entire reason it happened was because two teenagers confused infatuation for love and were idiots about it…

Oh. It makes sense now.

One Aspie’s “10 commandments”

I swear I’ll stop soon.

Maybe.

But this blog is so good and you all need to read it so maybe I’ll just keep pestering you. *pokes*

the silent wave

Alrighty, it looks like I’m in list-making mode; first it was “20 things to say“, then “20 things not to say“, and now this: 10 things not to do to Aspies/autistic people.  I promise not to turn this blog into a simple collection of lists, although many Aspies do enjoy making lists.

I realize that these recent posts may make me sound like a bossy bitch (please pardon the French).  I promise that that’s not the way I intend these posts to be.  The first two posts (on 20 things to say/not to say) are more of a plea for understanding and at times, for help.  This post comes from a similar root desire to explain Asperger’s/autism to the allistic world on which we can connect, relate, find common ground, and reach healthy understanding.  I’ve simply added the “commandment” aspect as an attempt to inject an…

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20 things TO say to Aspies/autistics (or people with Asperger’s/autism): My edition

If you haven’t figured it out already, you should go check out this blog! It’s glorious!

Also, please note the word ‘occasional’ in my case. Occasional warmth and fuzziness can be good. (Unless we’re talking about a warm and fuzzy cat, in which case all bets are off and give me the cat right now.) Some of you go a little crazy. (You probably know who you are.) I love you anyway. *pats head*

the silent wave

This post got long, too 🙂

Aspies/autistic people are all-too-well-aware of how awkward it can feel to interact with other people, especially allistics (non-autistic people).  Sometimes, though we (Aspies) might forget–or underestimate–that for allistics, interacting with an Aspie/autistic people can be challenging, too.  Allistics might feel awkward, not knowing what to say to–or “deal with” an Aspie.  They may have the vague idea that we can be touchy.  Either way, they come to realize that we’re…different.

When someone searches Google for “what to say to someone with Aspergers/autism”, the results are usually dominated by lots of posts about what not to say, but there is significantly less information available about what to say.  This could (and likely often does) lead to further awkwardness or uneasiness between the neuro-types.  One situation that (at least most of) we (Aspies) don’t want is to further alienate ourselves from others and vice versa.

So, in Part 2 of…

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20 things not to say to Aspies/autistics (or people with Asperger’s/autism): My edition

This is… well, this is perfect, guys. I’m not even kidding. I don’t even know what else to say about this.

the silent wave

Heads up: This post got a bit long. 🙂

Because I haven’t known about my Asperger’s neuro-type for very long, I haven’t encountered a lot of the pet-peeve phrases that Apies have endured for years.  This also means I’m not an expert on this topic at all.  But that also might mean I might bring a different perspective.

Nonetheless, I’ve come across many Aspie-etiquette posts about what to say and what not to say, and I have to admit, I agree with a lot of the advice.  I also have a few list-items of my own to add.  These are just my opinions, and they may not hold true for all Aspies.

This is the first of two posts.  For now, I’ll start out with 20 things not to say:

1. “Try Harder”
Lord knows are are trying.  We try every day.  We try to decide what to wear every day.  We…

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D&Designer Babies

My brother is bad at distributing stats.

Now, if you asked him, he wouldn’t say that. In fact, I think he would disagree emphatically. (In fact, when he reads this, I’m probably going to be in deep trouble.)

But he really is, you know. (I’m sorry, brother dear, but you do not apply all your stat-boosting items to one character in a four-character party! You just don’t! Unless you want to find yourself at the end of the game, with three characters who are essentially useless, completely helpless against the final boss… oh wait, you did. And this is why I’ve beaten it twice and you haven’t.) It’s a complete mystery, dear readers, how he manages to so thoroughly beat me at Risk and other strategy games when he so thoroughly dies due to poor strategy. (Yes, the character was cool; no, that does not excuse terrible strategy.) And the point of all this is to say that my brother’s terrible stat-distributing skills got me thinking about ‘designer babies’.

Which is a weird concept in and of itself. Not one that makes me particularly comfortable. I mean… The idea of genetically altering human embryos in order to create desired traits sounds like something straight out of science fiction, and I love sci-fi and all that, but…

Well. I’ll be perfectly blunt. According to most of the world, I’m probably not the be-all end-all of desired traits. (I can’t see why. I mean. I’m awesome, right, guys? …right?) For one thing, I’m a wimp. (My wimpiness level is over 9000…)

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I love you too, Marisa.

To say nothing of the fact that I lost track of all the mental issues I’m dealing with. (This does not count Aspergers. It is not an issue.) I mean, I stopped counting them a very long time ago… There’s at least five, varying ranges of severity…

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But it’s the truth, Marisa.

And how many medications do I take? I believe, at last count, the number was four different types, four and a half pills specifically…

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It’s getting old, Marisa.

And for icing on the cake, despite being a redhead and being supposed to be able to create my own vitamin D, to make up for the fact that I can’t absorb it as well as non-redheads… well, I don’t. So I have to take that, too.

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It’s gotten old, Marisa.

And, well, judging from the fact that parents of autistic children have forced them to drink bleach, and the whole vaccine issue mentioned previously, much of the world doesn’t agree with me on the whole ‘Aspergers not being an issue’ premise.

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Die in a fire, Marisa.

*cough cough, waves away smoke* Where were we? Oh yes. I wasn’t getting rid of an annoying girl who keeps repeating the same thing over and over again… Definitely not. I would never do that. I mean, that’s killing! And killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Anyway, the idea of designer babies kind of freaks me out, mainly because if it were widely accepted, chances are that people like me would end up… well, not being born. Ever.

And that’s kind of upsetting.

But then my brother’s terrible stat-distribution skills reminded me of an extremely popular game that I have, in fact, never actually played. Those of you who paid attention to the title may know what I am referring to. That’s right, we’re talking about Dungeons & Dragons.

Specifically, their attribute system. For those of you who, like myself, have not actually played said game, a brief overview is required. I may get things wrong. Please do not yell at me over the internet. In short, each character in D&D(and many other RPG systems) has ‘attributes’, or skills, really. The six main attributes are Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Charisma, and Wisdom. The points you can put into each attribute differ depending on the edition. But the more points you have allocated to a certain attribute, the better your character is in that area. Of course, to avoid overpowered characters, I’m pretty sure there are limits to how many points you have overall. (Anything else would just be game-breaking.)

This is the way I tend to imagine designer babies… yeah, it’s weird, I know. But still, parents picking out the attributes they want their children to have the most points in, does actually sound kind of appropriate. Of course, then we might have to start assigning people to classes. And as hilarious as it would be to have everyone be warriors, paladins, thieves, clerics and the like, I’m not entirely sure how well that system would actually work in real life.

Except for the people who are good at D&D. I think they’d take over the world. And taking over the world is my job…

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…I thought I got rid of you…

*ahem* If you’ll excuse me, then, I… have to go take care of someone… I mean, something… *wanders off, muttering about witch hunts*

Obligatory Post About Zebras(And Other Things)

I promised I would post about zebras, didn’t I? (Yes. Yes, I did.) Well. Here it is, folks, the post you never asked for and possibly never wanted–the obligatory post about zebras(and other things)! (And there’s the obligatory title drop.)

Allow me to show you various zebras. After a while, you may start to feel like you’re looking at a Rorschach test. Or maybe you won’t. I did, but as I’m sure we’ve all figured out, I’m weird.

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This is a plains zebra.

mountain-zebra-5bThis is a Cape mountain zebra.

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This is a Hartmann’s mountain zebra.

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This is a Grevy’s zebra.

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This is a baby zebra.

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This is a Dead Zebra. (Inc.)

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This is a danger zebra.

Also, zebras are apparently black with white stripes. How interesting.

Now that that’s out of the way, I do have a couple other things that just came to mind.

1:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, try getting a restraining order.

2:

What is with urban legends? No, seriously. I’m the creepiest person I know, full stop, and I still don’t understand who the heck comes up with these things. Who thought of a faceless guy in a suit and decided ‘Hey, I’m going to put this on the internet’? Who decided Mickey Mouse needed to be terrifying? (Well, he’s kind of off-putting as it is, but that might just be me.) And let’s not even get started on some of the ones they have in Japan…

What, did you think I was actually going to talk about those? Heck no.

But, you know, when your funny little story about a faceless guy in a suit gets someone stabbed, you might want to rethink your life choices. Just a little bit.

3:

What is with the Flying Spaghetti Monster? No, really. What’s up with that?

4:

Why can’t there actually be a holiday for airing grievances?

5:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

In short, the universe is full of questions, some more bizarre than others. But today you have learned something about zebras, and you now know that they are black with white stripes. Isn’t knowledge wonderful?

An Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in 5 Easy Steps

You know that moment when everything’s going fine, and then suddenly someone says something emotional or starts crying or something along those lines and you’re just left there thinking something along these lines?

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Or, in layman’s terms…

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You know how it goes. All you can do is sit there and stare because you were not prepared for this, dang it. Well, no longer! Today, I give you the Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in 5 Easy Steps–a simple plan to help you handle any emotional situation!

  1. Give your friend a hug. This technique is not for the faint of heart. It may require years of intense training, and many people have gone their entire lives without mastering the fine art of hug-jitsu. Nevertheless, it is reliable.
  2. If hug-jitsu is not an option, try an awkward pat on the head. This is simple and is almost guaranteed to make your friend start laughing, because awkward headpats are amusing almost by definition.
  3. If you simply cannot bring yourself to touch your friend, say something clever and witty. (Do not actually say “Something clever and witty.” This is neither clever nor witty.) This may result in your friend hating you for your insensitivity, or it may result in your friend being cheered up. Use with caution.
  4. If you can’t think of anything to say, you may remain where you are, looking around awkwardly, and wait for someone else to resolve the situation. This is what we call ‘the default state’. For obvious reasons.
  5. If you and your friend are the only ones around, and no one else can resolve the situation, thus making the default state an obsolete technique… then there is only one thing left to do.

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This concludes the Aspie’s Guide to Dealing with Emotional Situations in Five Easy Steps. We here at the Locked Room take no responsibility for any actions or results or adverse situations created or alleged to be created as or in connection with a direct or indirect result of specific referral or advice given by us.