Guess Who’s Back, Back Again

As you’ve probably already guessed, Locked Girl has returned from surgery… Locked Girl is, of course, still in the hospital. But she is alive, for those of you who might have grown concerned… Rather sore, but alive, and mostly fine. And not crooked anymore!

…Being on painkillers has certainly been… interesting. I’ve been somewhere between slightly loopy and fast asleep for the past several days now… and I’m definitely tired, my vision keeps blurring. This is unnatural.

*commence yawning*

But yeah, long story short, my back hurts, my stomach is kind of swollen, and I am in rather severe discomfort at the moment. There is basically nowhere that I can get comfortable. Which is only to be expected, I suppose, since I’m in this state. By which, of course, I mean ‘the state of recovering from major surgery’, not the state in which I live or the one in which I currently reside. As if that wasn’t enough, the drugs have been making it nearly impossible to write properly, which is insanely frustrating. Spelling and grammar mistakes are my enemies. And yet they keep popping up like a particularly persistent pestilence. For example, just a little while ago I first wrote ‘dedide’ instead of ‘reside’. How did I manage this fantastic error? I wish I knew. Instead, all I know is that writing on drugs is difficult. Don’t try it at home, kids. For everyone’s sake.

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Tick-Tock Goes the Clock, and Holy Snickerdoodle That Was Fast

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By which I mean, holy snickerdoodle, that was fast. An entire month, come and gone in a flash… Poof! Now you see it, now you don’t, the year is quicker than the eye. Et cetera.

By which I mean, well, my dear readers, it’s that time of the month, and by ‘that time of the month’ I mean that it is the 29th of October, 2017, and tomorrow is surgery time. Pretty crazy, huh? I scarce believe it myself. Then again, everyone else is all in a tizzy over it, so I suppose it must be real… but to quote an eternally wise and eternally crazy person that I wholeheartedly approve of with every fiber of my nutty little being, ‘I don’t function well in reality’. Anyone who knows who I am referring to, go and get yourself a cookie, you deserve it, you awesome, beautiful person. Anyone who doesn’t know…

Well, you’re most likely part of a comfortable majority, so feel good about yourself, I guess. I’ll be over here with my hipster glasses.

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You’ve probably never heard of them.

S is for Snake, Spine, Scoliosis, Surgery… Surprise!

You might have already figured out where we’re going with this. Or maybe you already know, if you’re one of the people I’m acquainted with in the Reality Zone. But yes, in short, Locked Girl is getting surgery.

This whole thing started in early July, I believe… Or maybe late June. Anyway, there’s been this weird thing going with my left side for as long as I can remember(although apparently not that long, but then again I don’t exactly pay that much attention to my left side) and when a doctor finally took a look, he said to go and get myself X-rayed and such because it might be scoliosis.

Well. As it turned out, it was.

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For those of you going ‘is it really that serious?’ Why yes, yes it is. That top curve is somewhere in the early 40s(in terms of degrees), and I believe that lower curve is about 46, if I’m remembering correctly. That’s what we were told by the doctor we visited later, anyway. (Lovely woman. Very pleased by the outcome of the visit, even if it did require leaving the state.) She also said that there’s a decently high chance that it will progress further if left alone…

So, well, we could put me in a brace to try and slow the progression, which would still give me a 75% chance of needing corrective surgery down the road, or we could just take care of the surgery now.

Naturally, I went right for the quicker option. I mean, I’ve had surgery before(on my legs, admittedly, so less of a big deal) and a cousin has had the same surgery at the same hospital. (She has no regrets; it’s only caused one problem, which is to say preventing her from getting an epidural when she had kids… I have doubts as to whether that’ll ever be an issue for me.) So yes, sometime in November I’ll be going in and getting metal rods put in my back, so that’ll be interesting. I’ll have to stay in the hospital for a few days, but fear not, there is wi-fi there so I’ll be able to pop up and say ‘Hey, not dead’. (Unless I am, but that’s unlikely to happen.)

I almost want to try writing something on painkillers… I hear the more potent ones can mess with your head. Might be entertaining to read the result of that endeavor. Or terrifying. With me, you never really know what’s going to happen.

Anyway, that’s a thing that happened. It’ll definitely be interesting, if nothing else. And probably somewhat painful.

(YOLO?)