My brother is bad at distributing stats.
Now, if you asked him, he wouldn’t say that. In fact, I think he would disagree emphatically. (In fact, when he reads this, I’m probably going to be in deep trouble.)
But he really is, you know. (I’m sorry, brother dear, but you do not apply all your stat-boosting items to one character in a four-character party! You just don’t! Unless you want to find yourself at the end of the game, with three characters who are essentially useless, completely helpless against the final boss… oh wait, you did. And this is why I’ve beaten it twice and you haven’t.) It’s a complete mystery, dear readers, how he manages to so thoroughly beat me at Risk and other strategy games when he so thoroughly dies due to poor strategy. (Yes, the character was cool; no, that does not excuse terrible strategy.) And the point of all this is to say that my brother’s terrible stat-distributing skills got me thinking about ‘designer babies’.
Which is a weird concept in and of itself. Not one that makes me particularly comfortable. I mean… The idea of genetically altering human embryos in order to create desired traits sounds like something straight out of science fiction, and I love sci-fi and all that, but…
Well. I’ll be perfectly blunt. According to most of the world, I’m probably not the be-all end-all of desired traits. (I can’t see why. I mean. I’m awesome, right, guys? …right?) For one thing, I’m a wimp. (My wimpiness level is over 9000…)
I love you too, Marisa.
To say nothing of the fact that I lost track of all the mental issues I’m dealing with. (This does not count Aspergers. It is not an issue.) I mean, I stopped counting them a very long time ago… There’s at least five, varying ranges of severity…
But it’s the truth, Marisa.
And how many medications do I take? I believe, at last count, the number was four different types, four and a half pills specifically…
It’s getting old, Marisa.
And for icing on the cake, despite being a redhead and being supposed to be able to create my own vitamin D, to make up for the fact that I can’t absorb it as well as non-redheads… well, I don’t. So I have to take that, too.
It’s gotten old, Marisa.
And, well, judging from the fact that parents of autistic children have forced them to drink bleach, and the whole vaccine issue mentioned previously, much of the world doesn’t agree with me on the whole ‘Aspergers not being an issue’ premise.
Die in a fire, Marisa.
*cough cough, waves away smoke* Where were we? Oh yes. I wasn’t getting rid of an annoying girl who keeps repeating the same thing over and over again… Definitely not. I would never do that. I mean, that’s killing! And killing people is my least favorite thing to do.
Anyway, the idea of designer babies kind of freaks me out, mainly because if it were widely accepted, chances are that people like me would end up… well, not being born. Ever.
And that’s kind of upsetting.
But then my brother’s terrible stat-distribution skills reminded me of an extremely popular game that I have, in fact, never actually played. Those of you who paid attention to the title may know what I am referring to. That’s right, we’re talking about Dungeons & Dragons.
Specifically, their attribute system. For those of you who, like myself, have not actually played said game, a brief overview is required. I may get things wrong. Please do not yell at me over the internet. In short, each character in D&D(and many other RPG systems) has ‘attributes’, or skills, really. The six main attributes are Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, Intelligence, Charisma, and Wisdom. The points you can put into each attribute differ depending on the edition. But the more points you have allocated to a certain attribute, the better your character is in that area. Of course, to avoid overpowered characters, I’m pretty sure there are limits to how many points you have overall. (Anything else would just be game-breaking.)
This is the way I tend to imagine designer babies… yeah, it’s weird, I know. But still, parents picking out the attributes they want their children to have the most points in, does actually sound kind of appropriate. Of course, then we might have to start assigning people to classes. And as hilarious as it would be to have everyone be warriors, paladins, thieves, clerics and the like, I’m not entirely sure how well that system would actually work in real life.
Except for the people who are good at D&D. I think they’d take over the world. And taking over the world is my job…
…I thought I got rid of you…
*ahem* If you’ll excuse me, then, I… have to go take care of someone… I mean, something… *wanders off, muttering about witch hunts*